Write me a letter.
[No. 58] 
I DON’T GET TO SEE YOU THAT OFTEN, BUT WHENEVER WE ARE TOGETHER, IT’S LIKE NO TIME HAS PASSED. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LONG DISTANCE FRIENDSHIPS?
“’Cause when you know, you know…”
Lana del Rey
Years ago, my dear friend Leah gifted me a bundle of tulips after my explant surgery. Her card read, “Did you know tulips continue to grow after they have been picked? May you remember that you, too, will keep expanding after this cut.”
Wooden Shoe Tulip Farm in Woodburn, Oregon
Your question, Alien, made me think of tulips. In part because my friendship with Leah is [TIMELESS]. We pick up where we left off even when we have been apart for months or even years. We keep growing together and individually regardless of being separated from one another. We carve out precious slivers of time away from work and kids to speak our deepest, most sacred secrets to a soft, receiving ear.
Some of my most treasured friendships are long distance ones. In my mind [HEART], what matters most is the depth of connection between two souls far more than the frequency of physical intersection. When you know, you know. A true bond knows no distance.
Just last week, I shared two days in Palm Springs with one of my best friends who I used to see almost daily when we both lived in Santa Barbara. Anne has since moved to a beautiful marina near Ventura where she lives on a yacht with her partner in between teaching at Esalen and other prestigious resorts. I landed back in LA with my daughter. Recently in the desert, I felt as if no time had passed since she came to my birthday dinner last June. Regardless of how often we speak or text, we share trust in the enduring strength of our bond. We discussed our connection and how we allow space for our individual growth and development along the way. We are each other’s cheerleaders and mirrors. She reflected back to me that this level of confidence [and freedom without attachment] is ideally how we face everyone we love. While time is irrelevant with the real ones, intention, care and clear communication are the oxygen that nourishes the miles between us.
Everytime I am gifted [or gift myself] a bunch of flowers with tulips in the mix, I smile to myself as I watch the tulips grow taller than their counterparts in the vase. Their capacity to grow when cut from their roots sparks a deep remembering of our connection to a cosmic heartbeat beyond our mind’s eye. They carry with them a knowing that regardless of where they are, or what has happened along the way, they are held by an unseen, grounding force [LOVE] that continues to feed them. That, my dear Alien, is how I feel about you and my other long distance beloveds. We may not bump into each other weekly at the farmers’ market like we used to. However, we are forever threaded in otherworldly ways that bind our growth and connection even when we are apart. [P.S. Write me a letter.]
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT LONG DISTANCE FRIENDSHIPS?