I want to know everything.
[NO. 78]
DID YOU HAVE AN EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE MOTHER? HOW HAS YOUR ANSWER TO THIS QUESTION AFFECTED YOUR OWN ABILITY TO MOTHER?
A guest poem & image by writer & photographer Lisa Field
she’s three, begging for me to make the sun go away,
i am rocking her, kissing her salty cheeks, saying
i can’t my love, i would if i could
yes you are sad and tired and you want it to be night
i will stay, i will hold you while you sleep
she’s twenty-seven now, her birthday is in a couple of weeks
she tells me that i missed things when she was younger, when
my fire torched our house, when i was consumed with aliveness
i am with her as her voice falters, as my heart breaks, saying
i am sorry i wish i had known i want to know everything please share
everything you want me to know i am here and you are here and you are
precious cherished golden mine always i love you, saying
everything i still hope my mother will say to me
