On the analog and aesthetics.
[No. 90]
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT THE INCREASED DEPENDENCE ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND TECHNOLOGY FOR COMMUNICATION BY YOUNGER GENERATIONS IS UNDERVALUING THE AUTHENTICITY OF RELATIONSHIPS OR SIMPLY BUILDING THEM IN A NEW AGE?
An essay by writer & photographer Chase Baxter
I first met my husband day-drinking at a friend’s house during Pride. Introductions turned into chatting, evolved into flirting, and eventually led me to his bed by nightfall. The next morning, we discovered a man who’d been plotting to attack the parade was arrested with a car full of weapons. Amid a haze of ambient doom, we recounted our evening and delved deeper into each other’s backgrounds. I learned: 1) We shared a favorite band from high school [The Format], 2) He wrote a weekly newsletter recommending a song he thought his friends should know—something I found deeply attractive, and 3) We were each raised in devout Catholic families, instilling in us many of the same values and hardships.
As we parted ways, something we both seemed intent on delaying, I felt on the precipice of something monumental. I was falling in love.
It was after this shift that I went home and found him on Instagram. I was imagining the back catalog of a handsome intellectual with an arty eye, but when I found his account…let’s just say…I would have classified him as odd. It was riddled with dangerously niche jokes and poorly composed iPhone photos. His “content” wasn’t for me, and I’m eternally grateful this wasn’t my first impression because I would have swiped left.
If it isn’t clear where I’m heading with this, Alien, I am very worried about the dependence on social media and technology of future generations [and what that means for crafting authentic relationships]. In a world so cripplingly reliant on digital personification, it can be novel to meet someone without having a preconceived idea of who they are. I know that I’m guilty of looking at someone’s profile and imagining a friendship/future [or even rejecting them without even knowing them in real life].
Technology tries to connect us, but social media is like a junk food replacement for a real home-cooked meal. When I take breaks from Instagram, I lose touch with some childhood friends and acquaintances, yes. But I feel closer to the people who comprise my day-to-day life. I find I am able to be more present, hangouts sprinkled with exploration and curiosity. Real-life interactions are co-engineered, not broadcast by one and consumed by another. Relationships are built by two people kneading, questioning, and figuring things out together in-person [and on long meandering phone calls]. The more time I spend disconnected from my phone and the internet, the more authentic I feel.
I’ve thought a lot about the personas we craft. In presenting small slivers of who we are, we miss out on finding people who would love us wholly, and we alienate ourselves in the process. So, I choose meaningful contact over high-efficiency awareness. But who knows, maybe I’m just becoming an old man longing for the analog days. At the very least, that could be my Instagram aesthetic.